“I have never been able to understand people with consistent lives – people who, for example, grow up in a liberal Catholic household and stay that way; or who in junior high school are already laying down a record on which to run for president one day. Imagine having no discarded personalities, no vestigial selves, no visible ruptures with yourself, no gulf of self-forgetfulness, nothing that requires explanation, no alien version of yourself that requires humor and accommodation. What kind of life is that?”
— Michael Warner, “Tongues Untied” in Curiouser: On the Queerness of Children (216)
“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy. You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like. If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.”
“The sense of sadness and of finality in leaving a place is a good emotion; I love that the story can’t be changed again and one more place is haunted –”
— Zelda Fitzgerald, from a letter to Francis Scott Fitzgerald, August 1936.
Women are simply the scenery onto which men project their narcissistic fantasies. The time has come for us to take over the show and exhibit our own fears and desires.
There was external factors that led to [my eating disorder]. A lot of anorexia nervosa can come from control issues or something you’ve inherited but in my case, I believe it was from external factors. I broke my back at 17 [in a car crash] and it changed my relationship with my body. It probably saved my life otherwise I’d still be anorexic now. I learned how to appreciate my body that I had taken hugely for granted and actively hurting for so long. It literally knocked some sense into me. — Jameela Jamil on society’s routine abuse of women and how it has shaped her life.
i feel like the “beauty” industry should be renamed the “exploitation of physical appearance, culture and insecurities” industry but u know… dats just me… and if makeup truly was about creativity i could go out looking like a damn piet mondrian jigsaw puzzle painting and people would compliment me on my craft and artistic perspective but it’s not really about creativity it’s about how palatable and gilded you can make your cage look
If you’re constantly ashamed when you’re growing up, when you become an adult you’re constantly ashamed. And when you get close to people you assume they will only like you as long as they see you in your best light. There is the profound desire for closeness and the profound fear of the other person. You start getting close to someone, they do something that might not be perfect, and it triggers a terror response and you run away…
I have suffered a lot. And these spectacles that used to fill me with calmness and serenity only arouse in me the lassitude of old sadness. I no longer hope for the future. I do not believe in myself any longer. I no longer know how to nourish myself on my past.
Albert Camus, from Youthful Writings; “Intuitions,” wr. c. 1932 (via violentwavesofemotion)
